diary cannabis machine

Secret diary of a cannabis vending machine

  • Hi, I’m a marijuana and hashish vending machine. I currently live in a Cannabis Smokers Association, in west Madrid. They are very nice people and for some reason they like me a lot. Every one of them, around 300, is part of a non-profit organization created for recreational and therapeutic marihuana use. I happen to keep all the stuff in my showcase of guts. Maybe that’s why I sometimes receive caring hugs. 
diary cannabis machine

The Association where I live is well arranged. It is registered in the Madrid regional administration and relies on specialized legal advisors which provide me confidence. Imagine that a uniformed intransigent arrives and kidnaps and seals me in a dreadful basement. Tragic, indeed. This is my home and my home works as follows: 

Any man, woman, grandpa or dog can become a member if and only if he/she is recommended by a previous member. You will have to fill an application form declaring your desire to belong, no criminal record involving crimes against public health, to be a regular user of recreational or therapeutic cannabis and a consumption forecast. You'll also have to show your ID –no minors allowed−, medical papers −in the case of therapeutic users− and pay the application fee (5 euros). To avoid traffic and health issues your consumption forecast won't exceed 100 grams per month. 

Consumption forecasts are very important because the Association is endorsed to buy your marijuana through them. In the absence of a self-harvest, the Association will buy the weed in the black market. This joint purchase will be determined from the sum of all consumption forecasts. Why don't they have a cannabis self-production? Because they started activity only 3 months ago. Their next goal is to self-produce their cannabis. They've told me. However, the new Spanish Citizen Security Law makes things tougher by raising fines. 

Every weed variety is displayed on my front door. Cannabis is bought at 3.5 euros per gram to which they add up a 2.3 euro per gram fee for house maintenance, electricity, property rental and development. The final prize for indoor weed is 5.8 euros per gram and 4.5 for outdoors. Every kind has its own reference code. The member introduces the money through my slot, then gets the ganja and finally records the purchase and its reference code on a sheet of paper. This is very useful for accountant purposes, inventory management and consumption monitoring. All the money is deposited in the Association's bank account for future joint purchases. All inputs and outputs are reflected on a rigorous accounting. 

The Associations most common activities are smoking, pool, playstation, smoking… Nevertheless, there are occasional live music and magic shows. The most successful activity among members, besides smoking, is the monthly homemade hashish production workshop. This event gives members the opportunity to attend a guided demo on gas and laundry hashish extraction. Taking notes is allowed.

Anyway, many things have changed for me. My receivers smile more often and they give me random gentle slaps. I've changed San Fernando for Madrid, the train station for the Association and chips for Critical+. My life might have undergone a 180 degrees chromatic turn –from grey to green− but as I see it, I still do the same old stuff. 


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